Things are a changin

"That page has changed you.", said my husband.

 When I heard him say this, I thought 'oh here we go, he is going to tell me I am on facebook far too much (and he MAY be right)',  and he is going to tell me that I need to focus on me and worry less about impressing people.   For all of my life (almost 35 years)  I have tried to impress, please and entertain people.  I am always worrying about people liking me.  And for the first time, I truly feel accepted.   I am so grateful for my little page and all of the people who have joined it.  The running community is an amazing group.  So accepting and helpful.  <3 

Now, I am the first to tell you that I am a work in progress.   I know I am showing progress, and I have to fight the urge to compare myself to other people.  This is something I struggle in all parts of my life...not just in the fitness area.  I am really working on accepting me, and praising my own accomplishments.  I need to see that I am capable of so much more than I have dared to do.  

One big area where I seek acceptance is with my family.  Now, I have a great family. But I feel like the black sheep.  I feel like they just dont "get" my lifestyle and love of running.  Most of them are much more content to socialize over some beers rather than during a run. I am working to encourage them to try more, and I do have some cousins who are trying, so that is exciting.  But I have a secret when it comes to my family....and that secret is my page and blog.  I am so worried about how they will see it, and see me.   For some reason, I am a lot more comfortable telling a bunch of complete strangers how I feel, instead of sharing it with my family.

I feel so at home on my little page and I get so much motivation and encouragement from everyone who is a part of it.  I find myself wanting to be more positive in all aspects of my life, because that is how RGX would do it :)   On my hard days, just thinking of the people I have met or inspired though my page, and that will get me through a run.   Thank you so much for your likes, comments, shares and encouragement :)  

So,  what my handsome, wise husband meant when he told me that the page had changed me was this:  I am becoming more confident.  I am feeling more secure in WHO I am.  I am less scared to try things, more willing to meet people.  I am coming out of the shell that I had built around myself.  I am becoming the ME that I always hoped was possible.  I AM HAPPY.  I AM RUNNER GIRL X.