"That page has changed you.", said my husband.
When I heard him say this, I thought 'oh here we go, he is going to tell me I am on facebook far too much (and he MAY be right)', and he is going to tell me that I need to focus on me and worry less about impressing people. For all of my life (almost 35 years) I have tried to impress, please and entertain people. I am always worrying about people liking me. And for the first time, I truly feel accepted. I am so grateful for my little page and all of the people who have joined it. The running community is an amazing group. So accepting and helpful. <3
Now, I am the first to tell you that I am a work in progress. I know I am showing progress, and I have to fight the urge to compare myself to other people. This is something I struggle in all parts of my life...not just in the fitness area. I am really working on accepting me, and praising my own accomplishments. I need to see that I am capable of so much more than I have dared to do.
One big area where I seek acceptance is with my family. Now, I have a great family. But I feel like the black sheep. I feel like they just dont "get" my lifestyle and love of running. Most of them are much more content to socialize over some beers rather than during a run. I am working to encourage them to try more, and I do have some cousins who are trying, so that is exciting. But I have a secret when it comes to my family....and that secret is my page and blog. I am so worried about how they will see it, and see me. For some reason, I am a lot more comfortable telling a bunch of complete strangers how I feel, instead of sharing it with my family.
I feel so at home on my little page and I get so much motivation and encouragement from everyone who is a part of it. I find myself wanting to be more positive in all aspects of my life, because that is how RGX would do it :) On my hard days, just thinking of the people I have met or inspired though my page, and that will get me through a run. Thank you so much for your likes, comments, shares and encouragement :)
So, what my handsome, wise husband meant when he told me that the page had changed me was this: I am becoming more confident. I am feeling more secure in WHO I am. I am less scared to try things, more willing to meet people. I am coming out of the shell that I had built around myself. I am becoming the ME that I always hoped was possible. I AM HAPPY. I AM RUNNER GIRL X.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Here I am
Ok, so here it goes. First blog. No pressure, right? I am Runner Girl X. I am just a regular girl who discovered that i can run, and do a lot of other badass things....I just didn't know it yet. Day by day, I am learning more.
I was not an active child. My daily activity consisted of walking to the library, 3 blocks away. Reading was my extracurricular activity. I had the best spots for reading, but as great as that is, it is way too sedentary for a child. Sports were encouraged in our house, but you needed to be good. My step sister was an excellent athlete, lettering in basketball and winning state track titles. i enjoyed sports and I went to most of my sister and brothers sporting events, but never played on a school team myself. I was always too worried that I wasn't good enough, so I just avoided trying. I have yo yo dieted since I was a teenager. I watched my mom struggle with her weight, and body image my whole life. I realize now how much that has affected me. On top of it all, I have some depression and anxiety issues, but thankfully, the running helps with both :) I decided to start this blog and page to help me work through some of this old emotional crap, and make room for a more positive, healthy me. I can't promise it will all be happy, but it will all be real. I am ready to get over some of the things that have been holding me back from being ME
I have been with my husband Personal Trainer Man (PTM) for 8 years, but we have been married for just over a year. We had to make sure we REALLY liked each other first ;). We were pretty unhealthy in the beginning.....lots of fast food, soda and cigarettes :P We were overweight, but didn't care enough to change. In 2009, we joined a gym and life changed. I stuck to Group Fit classes and fell in love with exercise. We quit smoking, cut back the soda and got moving! Over all, I have not lost a huge amount of weight (about 25 lbs so far), but I am stronger than have ever been. Right now I am in a running phase right now, and I struggle with going to classes and keeping with my race training. I am running a 25k in 12 days. So right now, I am just running and doing some yoga. After the race I am planning to back down on my miles and up my classes. I look forward to getting back to group fit.
We started running four years ago, but only in the past year has it become something I love. We finished a half marathon in April and PTM will do his first full on the day I do my 25 k. I am really looking forward to seeing him cross that finish line. For once I will finish a race before he does :)
So, that is why I am here. I thank you for being here with me.
Be well, my friends. XO
I was not an active child. My daily activity consisted of walking to the library, 3 blocks away. Reading was my extracurricular activity. I had the best spots for reading, but as great as that is, it is way too sedentary for a child. Sports were encouraged in our house, but you needed to be good. My step sister was an excellent athlete, lettering in basketball and winning state track titles. i enjoyed sports and I went to most of my sister and brothers sporting events, but never played on a school team myself. I was always too worried that I wasn't good enough, so I just avoided trying. I have yo yo dieted since I was a teenager. I watched my mom struggle with her weight, and body image my whole life. I realize now how much that has affected me. On top of it all, I have some depression and anxiety issues, but thankfully, the running helps with both :) I decided to start this blog and page to help me work through some of this old emotional crap, and make room for a more positive, healthy me. I can't promise it will all be happy, but it will all be real. I am ready to get over some of the things that have been holding me back from being ME
I have been with my husband Personal Trainer Man (PTM) for 8 years, but we have been married for just over a year. We had to make sure we REALLY liked each other first ;). We were pretty unhealthy in the beginning.....lots of fast food, soda and cigarettes :P We were overweight, but didn't care enough to change. In 2009, we joined a gym and life changed. I stuck to Group Fit classes and fell in love with exercise. We quit smoking, cut back the soda and got moving! Over all, I have not lost a huge amount of weight (about 25 lbs so far), but I am stronger than have ever been. Right now I am in a running phase right now, and I struggle with going to classes and keeping with my race training. I am running a 25k in 12 days. So right now, I am just running and doing some yoga. After the race I am planning to back down on my miles and up my classes. I look forward to getting back to group fit.
We started running four years ago, but only in the past year has it become something I love. We finished a half marathon in April and PTM will do his first full on the day I do my 25 k. I am really looking forward to seeing him cross that finish line. For once I will finish a race before he does :)
So, that is why I am here. I thank you for being here with me.
Be well, my friends. XO
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